Sep 1, 2022

Boundaries & Nervous System Dysregulation

Lacking or not having boundaries puts you at great risk for a dysregulated nervous system and all the mental, physical, and emotional health risks that come with it.

Nervous System Dysregulation & Boundary Setting

When you accidentally or even choose to overstep your boundaries, you can expect discomfort at the very least. If you do not have any boundaries in life, then it is likely a big portion of your life is uncomfortable and you may feel unlucky or like life is out to get you.

Nope.

Rather, you are letting life walk all over you.

When you do not honor your boundaries or are unaware of your fundamental needs, then you are welcoming all sorts of energy, attitudes, behaviors, personalities, varying values, and communication styles into your life. How can you imagine every type of human working as a positive in your life? It's just not possible to have your cake and eat it too with every single human we come into contact with.

Some people just aren't good for our wellbeing and quality of life. Some people activate us to do low level activities such as partying and staying up all night. Other people have mood disorders and are easily agitated, resulting in many arguments. There are also people that prefer to put them Self first, and confuse you through gaslighting when you try to speak up for your Self. The types of people that exist in life are endless and how dare we let every single type of human into our life.

People that let most everyone in are usually responding to intensely negative experiences from their past and this is commonly known as living with a trauma or fear response. People pleasing, becoming everybody's friend, and always saying yes are examples of living with a fear response after trauma. Highly spiritual people can immensely lack boundaries because they do not realize they are living within codependency, which means personal boundaries are lacking. We will cover in detail in a later section why we lack boundaries and how it impacts our life as an adult.

When you let all sorts of people in, not only are you risking nervous system dysregulation and all the risks that come with that, but when you let all sorts of people in you are saying a lot about your standards, too, which we cover in immense on its own.

Nervous system dysregulation occurs when you are living a life not aligned with your needs.

When you experience things that go against what you need to feel okay everyday, then your body will start signaling to you in all sorts of ways that there is a problem. Usually, your nervous system creates a problem within your body as a way to communicate to your higher mind that something is not right and change needs to be made for better outcomes. You can not have better feelings if life is not getting better.

If life is truly not good, then in some way you will not feel good whether it is mental, emotional, or physical.

Autoimmune disorders such as alopecia, which is female balding, can come into your life if you have people or things constantly happening that are stressing you out or going against what you need to happen everyday. A lot of times we stick around in relationships because we are holding onto feelings we initially had, and then accidentally heightened those feelings to a magnitude that now confuses us. Feelings are not facts. Spending time with people that initially made you feel a certain way is just like window shopping. You usually buy something because of how it made you feel after taking a look at it. We do this with dating all the time, too. We shop around with our eyes and then tell our brain that what we are feeling is the truth of the entire matter. No. It’s not. You have just thoroughly lied to your Self and very likely are walking over boundary sin the process of acquiring this new shiny human. You know not much or anything at all about this person. Rather, you just know how you feel and because we are still animals evolving our cognitive higher level brain has not caught up to certain processes. So, our animal brain controls us unless we tell it otherwise by using conscious thought.

To be clear, nervous system dysregulation is not permanent. You can go in and out of dysregulation all day everyday depending on the types of choices you make and how you fundamentally feel about them afterwards. You maintain a regulated nervous system by setting and maintaining your boundaries.